Linger
by NikkiB1973
Summary: This is set at the end of Season 2 AU. Bellamy doesn't want Clarke to go. "May we meet again?" She said to him. Was it true that you had to let those you love go for them to come back to you?


**Linger**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to their respective owners.

Bellamy felt Clarke's lips graze his cheek as she kissed him. His stomach was tied up in knots as he instinctively wound his arms around her, his fingers digging into the leather of her jacket as he held her tightly to his body. Clarke sighed softly as she hugged him back, her blue eyes closing in sorrow as she whispered. "May we meet again?"

Her words reverberated around his head as she stepped back from him and looked up into his dark eyes. Hers were shimmering with unshed tears, she wouldn't cry in front of him. No she would wait until she was alone and safe from prying eyes. She couldn't allow herself to show weakness now, not after everything. "Don't do this." Bellamy said huskily. He wasn't one to wear his heart on his sleeve but for some reason he couldn't stop himself this time. He hadn't been expecting this. She was taking on everyone's guilt onto her shoulders; it was unfair and not right. Each of them had played a part in their own way in the downfall of the mountain men. Bellamy had enough of his own guilt weighing him down; memories of the three hundred people who had died on the Ark were never far from his mind. It was his actions which had effectively signed their death warrants, and he had to live with it. "These are your people." He tried again to get through to her, but Clarke already seemed gone. She was half turned toward the dirt track leading away from the camp.

"I need to go, Bellamy. I need…." Clarke paused and pushed a lock of her blonde hair out of her eyes. It had come undone from its bindings and kept falling into her eyes. She seemed irritated when it fell back again and irrational anger crossed her pretty face as she yanked it back and retied it in place. She was feeling so emotionally fragile that anything could set her off, however slight. She knew that she was barely keeping it together and hanging by a thread. "I don't know what I need. All I know is I can't stay here." There they were again, the threatening tears. Clarke knew he could see them shimmering in her eyes, so she ducked her head before he saw one fall.

"You don't even know what is out there." Bellamy threw his arm in front of him as he gestured toward the horizon. "You'll be vulnerable alone." He was trying to delay her leaving, he knew this, and he just hoped it would work. If he could keep her talking long enough she might break down and actually lean on him for once, he was strong enough for both of them. If only she could see it. But this was Clarke; over the last few weeks she had closed her emotions down to such an extent that she just wouldn't let anyone in, not really. The betrayal by her supposed ally, Commander Lexa, had thrown her through a loop. Bellamy had not failed to see Clarke's admiration for the Grounder leader. He had been inside the mountain and had not seen how close the two had actually become, and had to rely on the rumours which had been fluctuating around the camp.

"I'm stronger than you think." Clarke's reply broke into his thoughts. She flashed him a tired smile, it didn't stay long on her face before it slid away and she looked pained again. "I'll be fine. Don't worry."

"It's my job to worry, princess." The sound of her old nickname falling from his lips made Clarke flinch, because when he used the moniker it reminded her of happier times, times when she had been free of the guilt and deep sorrow that she now carried around her like a shroud. She had been more innocent then, but not now, never again. She was scarred forever by what she had done, even if it had been in defence of others. People had died; innocent people and she had been the one to flick the switch so to speak. Bellamy may have put his hand over hers when they yanked the lever but the ultimate decision had been hers, and hers alone. She was surprised that he even wanted to engage her in conversation, he should be with the others, they needed him, needed his strength.

There were sounds of yelling coming from inside the camp, they both turned and looked back at the same time. There was some kind of commotion going on. Clarke swallowed thickly as she stepped further down the dirt track. "You should go." She mustered up another forced smile.

"And you should stay." Bellamy said stubbornly.

"I can't, I'm sorry." Clarke's voice was strained, her whole body was. Bellamy finally saw how deep her pain really went. She was barely able to hold herself together, he had never seen her as particularly vulnerable before, she always had a quiet inner strength that she called upon in times of crisis, but right now that seemed to be missing. Her recent actions had damaged her; they had seeped into the cracks of her fractured psyche and sunk their hooks into her emotional wellbeing.

Bellamy now understood that the only way for her to get better was to leave. Being around the others, having to see their faces every day, would bring it all back constantly. She would never be able to heal, not while she was forced to keep leading her people, because they would expect her to carry on, to carry on and not falter. It was too much of any of them to ask of her right now, for him to ask of her. So against everything that he felt deep inside, the fear and worry that he wouldn't be able to lead without her by his side, they had become such a unit, such a team, he knew he would feel bereft without her to lean on. They always balanced each other out. But if you wanted someone to come back to you, didn't you have to let them go? Bellamy didn't recall who had originally said that, but it felt appropriate now. He could do this for her; he would do this for her. He would try his best to protect the people they loved, the sky people.

"May we meet again, Clarke Griffin?" Bellamy held out his hand to her. Now she couldn't hold back the tears. They shimmered in her eyes and spilled over as she took his hand in her own. Bellamy tugged her close and held her again as she trembled a little. He leaned down and pressed his cheek against hers, he could feel the wetness of her tears as they coated his own skin. "Come back to me." He whispered in her ear before stepping back.

Clarke looked into his dark eyes for a long time; seeking reassurance from the one she trusted the most. She knew she was putting a lot on his shoulders, but she knew he was strong enough to bear the burden until she came back, and she would come back, one day, in the future, hopefully with a healed mind and a heart that was no longer afraid to love. "Thank you, Bellamy." Clarke choked out as she finally tore her eyes away from his. With a determined jut of her chin, she turned away from him and walked slowly down the dirt track.

Bellamy stared after her, his hand reaching up to touch the wetness still coating his cheek from her tears. Already she was so far gone that her slight figure was a just a dot on the horizon. Bellamy strained his eyes, so determined was he to keep her in his line of sight, but all too soon she had turned a corner and was gone. His heart felt heavy in his chest as he turned to face the camp. He heard his name being called, along with Clarke's, and for one small second he almost believed he heard her responding to her name, but when he turned to look for her, she wasn't there.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


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